I've learned lately that working a 40+ hour a week job is not easy when you want to give your toddler 100%. Especially when you throw in volunteer meetings, phone calls, fundraisers, etc. Now throw in a work trip for the hubs.... and any hours there were left for workouts, blogging, and extra activities is truly thrown out the door.
I'm still standing on my two feet at the moment, but I feel so guilty.
When I'm having to get ready for work while chasing Annaleee around in the mornings... thinking this is the only hour I get wither when I'm not feeding her, bathing her, and trying to get her to bed. All she wants is my undivided attention. Read a book? Play with my doll house?
Then I feel guilty when I walk in 5 min late for my 8:30 meeting at work. Again. Second day in a row... b/c I wanted to spend an extra 5 minutes talking to Annalee's sitter.
Then I feel guilty leaving work at 4:30pm to squeeze in a 20 min run and shower... before I have to get Annalee at 5:15 and head strait to a work event. Guilty. I'm late picking her up... she is ALWAYS the last one there. Guilty, I left work early to go run.
Guilty I'm dragging Annalee to a work event - where I chase her around an hour, while trying to keep her away from anything brake-able... while balancing a glass of wine and trying to be social. ha!
Guilty we get home at 6:30, so I have 30 minutes to bathe her and get her to bed before we have a delirious toddler on my hands. Guilty I don't have more time with her.
Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. How do I do it? How do all you mommas do it?
Send me some love. Ideas. Suggestions. Maybe it's just a phase... This too shall pass, right? ha!
Learning to say "no" is one of the hardest but most crucial things I've learned since having MM and now Henry. Learn your limits, set your boundaries and stick to them. I know there's certain obligations you have for work but maybe cutting out some of the "extra" commitments (even those you enjoy-bc I know you do!) can help you restore some control and let go of the guilt. Easy for me to say as a mostly SAHM now but even still, I'm careful to guard our time together as family because it's so precious and fleeting. You are doing a great job...don't let the guilt get you down. A challenging day/week always makes me appreciate the "easier" ones that much more. Love you friend!
ReplyDeleteYESSSSSSSSS. SAME here and I felt really sorry for myself last week. You are not alone Mama. You're doing a great job. It is HARD work. I think things like going to run after work before you get her are a good thing because it makes you a more present Mama when you are with her. And I highly value weekends and evenings with her because that's all I get. I'm selfish with my time then and don't let other things get in my way. That's my Molly Anne time. And I also told kevin last week that if I didn't work then I'd be skinnier, nicer and a better mom haha. Real life sista. It's a phase, don't beat yourself up!
ReplyDelete